Monday, June 14, 2004

My Summer Campaign
By John Kerry

Notes to self

Meet with a foreign leader - about anything - soon! (done RWR funeral, whew!)

Stop speeches about jobless recovery - remember to take that stuff off the website.

Stop speeches about bad economy, even about marginal recovery (damn!)

Stop speeches about gas prices (double damn!)

Stop speeches about getting the UN involved in Iraq (what the..?)

Keep the Vietnam thing going - both sides!

SUVs bad, SUVs bad, SUVs bad - learn it, love it, live it.

Fire speech writers and find out who "the family" is - see SUVs.

Drop the Catholic schtick - doesn't go with the abortion votes record.

Gay marriage - hire a "gay marriage" advisor.

Stop saying, "I don't really know, I'll have to get back to you on that in a couple of weeks" (done - just say anything instead)

Blame: "the family", speech writers, secret service agents, Vietnam, Bush, Cheney, unfair questions from republican citizens, the schedule.


Whatever Bush says, wait a day or two and say it louder - then blame Bush for stealing my ideas.

Call all spending increases "cuts" since Bush could always allot more.

Don't actually SAY anything - don't need issues. Dems're gonna vote for me anyway.


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